Greetings and salutations. My name is Gwendolyn, Gwen for short, I am a 24 year old male-to-female transsexual. I started this blog to document my transition and to assist my fellow transgender individuals in the community by providing a history of a transition and to raise awareness of the transgender community.
To tell you a little about myself, I grew up in rural West Virginia and have lived here most of my life. As far as I am aware my parents and family never suspected that I was transgender, even though I remember dressing in my sisters outfits and putting on make up. So for the largest portion of my life I lived as a male and never felt quite normal. I participated in sports and was fairly intelligent when it came to school mostly As and Bs. It was not until around middle school (between ages 10-12) that I started having noticeable dysphoria, I can say this now but at the time I was not aware of what it was. I became very depressed and dropped out of sports. I started to gain weight and became more anti-social, I could not deal with the feeling that I just was not right. I started to retreat inside my mind and in fantasy books and games, anything to just escape reality and the pain. In 6th grade I contemplated and even planned to kill myself because of these feelings until I met a close friend to who to this day still supports me and is the best friend one could ever ask for. Thanks to him I did not go through with my plan to kill myself, a plan that only he knew until now.
I continued on in life still depressed and not feeling as if my body was truly mine though now I had a friend. I continued to gain weight through high school do to my dysphoria as well. I gained more friends in between my middle and high school life. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was just gay and started to live as such. It made me happier to not have to hide a feeling of attraction to the point of being in relationships to hide my feeling towards males. Though even though I was happier the feeling of not being in my body never left and it still kept growing.
When I went to college I discovered something new that I had never heard of coming from rural West Virginia, that being the term transgender. Ever since finding out about transgender individuals, the question of whether I was truly female in a male body had plagued me. For three years I fought with my own identity with who I was and the dysphoria was growing harder and harder to ignore. I lost all interest in everything that I loved to do before even my escapes from reality like reading and writing. I started to push away my friends because they reminded me of the lies I had to tell myself.
After fighting for so long, I realized I could not be happy until I finally admitted it. To stop hiding who I truly was. I told my friend and he supported me. After telling him and accepting who I was, I have been happier ever since. Shortly after I told my family and friends who have all supported me.
And finally to wrap up such a long post, I am starting to lose my weight thanks to a strict diet and exercise plan. As for the the transition process I have an appointment with a doctor near me to begin my HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) with my final goal being SRS Surgery (Sex Reassignment Surgery). I look forward to keeping you all up to date with my progress and of all the new adventures before me.
~Gwen
No comments:
Post a Comment