Sunday, September 6, 2015
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
A Step Forward: Beginning The New Life
Hi everyone! First things first I must apologize to you all. I have been absent for almost two months without a single word. But as they say life has a way of getting in the mix of things. But I have many things to inform you all. I honestly have no idea where to begin. So I will just try to get through them all as they come to mind.
About two weeks ago I went out en femme to pick up one of my friends who was going to visit me for awhile. On that outing I discovered two things about myself of which I must say I am very proud of. The first being that my friends parents who have known me for almost 12 years did not recognize me at all. They had no clue who I was or why I was there. I barely got a peep out because I actually was to busy laughing and smiling and to be honest blushing. This means that while en femme no one not even those closest to me would be able to tell who I am not just physically but also that my voice has changed enough as well to be completely unrecognizable. I was at first very nervous to step out of the house en femme and to be honest was even shaking at times for fear of how others would view me. But thanks to this new found revelation I am not only more comfortable going out en femme but I am more proud then I have ever been do to the progress I have made. Before stepping out I wanted to take a picture to show you all, I do apologize I am very camera shy but I hope you all like what you see.
As I am sure you are now aware by the picture that I have noticeably lost weight. For those unfamiliar with how much I have lost, I started my weight loss plan in April of this year. At the time I weighed 334 lbs. and even walked with a cane do to severe muscle weakness in my left leg. I had hoped that through the weight loss plan that I am on that I would lose enough to be able to walk without the cane. Little did I know that goal would be reached before my first year on the plan was up. TA DA! I am now able to fully walk, run, jump, climb stairs, etc without the aid of the cane. At times it can give out but hopefully that will stop when I lose more weight. But starting out in April at 334 lbs. I have been on this plan for 5 months when August 29th rolls around. I am now down to an amazing 249 lbs! That means I have lost a total of 85 lbs. in such a short amount of time! I have went down almost three pants sizes and almost two shirt sizes, which is great but it makes switching out my wardrobe almost impossible because my closet is now divided into three sections: what I used to wear, what I currently wear, and what I will soon be able to wear. Even with all that I am feeling better then ever about my weight and my over all appearance.
About two weeks ago I went out en femme to pick up one of my friends who was going to visit me for awhile. On that outing I discovered two things about myself of which I must say I am very proud of. The first being that my friends parents who have known me for almost 12 years did not recognize me at all. They had no clue who I was or why I was there. I barely got a peep out because I actually was to busy laughing and smiling and to be honest blushing. This means that while en femme no one not even those closest to me would be able to tell who I am not just physically but also that my voice has changed enough as well to be completely unrecognizable. I was at first very nervous to step out of the house en femme and to be honest was even shaking at times for fear of how others would view me. But thanks to this new found revelation I am not only more comfortable going out en femme but I am more proud then I have ever been do to the progress I have made. Before stepping out I wanted to take a picture to show you all, I do apologize I am very camera shy but I hope you all like what you see.
 |
| I must say that I look very good! |
As I am sure you are now aware by the picture that I have noticeably lost weight. For those unfamiliar with how much I have lost, I started my weight loss plan in April of this year. At the time I weighed 334 lbs. and even walked with a cane do to severe muscle weakness in my left leg. I had hoped that through the weight loss plan that I am on that I would lose enough to be able to walk without the cane. Little did I know that goal would be reached before my first year on the plan was up. TA DA! I am now able to fully walk, run, jump, climb stairs, etc without the aid of the cane. At times it can give out but hopefully that will stop when I lose more weight. But starting out in April at 334 lbs. I have been on this plan for 5 months when August 29th rolls around. I am now down to an amazing 249 lbs! That means I have lost a total of 85 lbs. in such a short amount of time! I have went down almost three pants sizes and almost two shirt sizes, which is great but it makes switching out my wardrobe almost impossible because my closet is now divided into three sections: what I used to wear, what I currently wear, and what I will soon be able to wear. Even with all that I am feeling better then ever about my weight and my over all appearance.
Speaking of my appearance, I must comment on the fact that while I am at work I dress in the typical uniform of a Walmart employee: black pants, blue collared shirt, and the ugly ugly vest. Now with this and the fact that I wear my hair normally up I have only on occasion been refereed to as female in the past. I also speak in a natural tone. Well little did I know that without my knowledge I have been speaking in my natural voice which has now become my feminine voice, which I used to have two distinct voices: one for Adam and the other for Gwen. But not anymore, now I am always speaking as Gwen and I have to force myself to speak like Adam. But I digress, the point I am trying to make is that now about 95% of the time I am refereed by customers as female. This going on without me being en femme or having told them at all what I prefer to go by. It honestly makes me smile every time it happens because it means that all my hard work is starting to pay off.
But alas, I must say that I might be moving from where I currently live. I love my current place but if things work out and I get this new job. Not only will I be either a shift or assistant store manager making anywhere from $20,000 to $50,000 a year with a full benefits package that includes dental, health, vision, and a 401k but I will also be financially more stable. This in turn means I can afford to save more money for the surgery, which hopefully the health plan will cover. I should know whether I got the job sometime within the week, he had said that he would be in contact with me hopefully by this Friday. According to his secretary, this means that I probably got the 3rd and final interview with the HR manager which is basically the hiring interview and to fill out paperwork. I am so excited and I really hope I get the job and have a chance to shine.
With having mentioned the surgery some things have recently developed along the medical lines of the transition. One being the fact that I am now seeing a therapist who has in turn given me contact information for another. The goal of which is not only get the psychological support needed but to get referral letters for surgery. Now many of you may not know this but in order for the GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery) to be done certain goals must be done this is listed under the WPATH's (World Professional Association for Transgender Health) Standards of Care. Those being that one must have two referral letters from qualified health professionals, a persistent and well documented history of gender dysphoria, the capacity to make a fully informed decision and to consent to treatment, be 18 years or older, if significant medical issues are present to have them reasonably under control, twelve continuous months of hormone therapy, and twelve continuous months of living in the gender role that is congruent with one's gender identity. I will provide a link to those curious about the Standards of Care, it covers quite a bit of information not just limited to the scope of medical treatment but also standard information about those suffering with gender dysphoria. Here is said link : WPATH's Standards of Care
Now you may be thinking surely there is not much more that could be going on. Well you would be sorely mistaken my friends. For you see today, I went to the courthouse and filed a Petition of Name Change. Within the next 30 days I will receive my court date to appear before the judge and plead my case to have my name formally changed to Gwendolyn. I have honestly never been more terrified and exhilarated as when I turned in the forms at the clerk's office. I will be appearing in court en femme to please my case, I will also be required to publish my court date in the newspaper. In addition to doing so I will also post the date on here so that if any of my supporters wish to come and voice their support can do so. I know that unfortunately I will have nay sayers and haters appear in court probably in mass. I had asked if they could have a closed hearing which would prevent not only the haters from appearing but also I would not be required to publish the court date and information in the paper for my own safety. So I look forward to seeing you all there if you can and if not I know you go with me in spirit.
Now at this point you maybe worried about my own safety. Well, this next part will probably give you a heart attack. A couple weeks ago I got up to go to work only to find that my two front tires had been slashed. The cost to replace them was a grand total of $160 roughly, which did not cover alignment charges which I still have to get done soon. Needless to say this honestly frightened me, I was not aware of any hate around me do to the fact that I have not personally experienced it before then. And regrettably I have experienced two other such cases, which thinking back one of these accord before the tire slashing incident the other having only happened the other night. The one that happened before the tire incident was me actually being pulled over while en femme for supposedly failing to stop at a stop sign. Now let me say just one thing, the stop sign in question if you do not stop at you will be hit, there is no question do to the amount of traffic going through. And at the time that I supposedly failed to stop a semi had just rushed past me meaning that if I had failed to stop I would have been a smear on the wind shield. Now the funny part about this is that the police cruiser in question saw this, past me, and did not turn on their lights nor pursue me until I had almost reached my turn about half a mile from the stop sign in question. Luckily though, I only got a warning and the female police officer was very polite and did not react negatively towards me. Which leads me to believe that the reason I was pulled over was not do to her, but her male partner her who driving at the time. Sadly this was not the only time I have had a run in with the police, this next and most recent incident occurred this past Sunday. I was driving home from work and instead of going through interstate I decided to cut through town. I had past a cruiser parked in a dark area of a stores parking lot, obeying all laws mind you. I thought nothing of it until here I am passing the town line and the cop car is still following me. Their lights not on just following me in the dark. At this point I was like ok what is going. Well they continue following me for about 3 miles at this point I am starting to freak out so I pulled into a gas station about a mile away from my house to get gas and to see if they were following me and worse case scenario that if they are they would not attempt anything in an area that is highly crowded with video surveillance. To my shock and ensuing panic attack they proceeded to follow me into the gas station, I am staring at them in my rear view mirror as I turn to go park at a pump. However the moment I get out of my vehicle and look around they are no where to be seen. Solidifying in my mind that not only were these cops following me, most likely in hopes to find where I live, but I might of just had my life saved by the quick thinking to pull into a public and crowded place. So here is hoping that no more such events occur between now and when I have to move.
And with that I can finally say that you are now up-to-date. I look forward to losing more weight and hopefully hitting the 100 lbs lost marker this month, only 15 more pounds to go, successfully changing my name, and getting my new job and in turn a new place. And if or when I do move I will be abandoning my male persona and living fully as Gwen, which I cannot wait to do. But I have held you up for so long with such a long post. I will let you go, but do check back for the court date and if I got the new job.
Until then,
~Gwen
P.S. I almost forgot to inform you all but my next post will be the starting of my vlog I had mentioned earlier. So be sure to check for updates regularly.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Busy Like A Bee
Greetings everyone! I must apologize for my long absence. I failed to post do to being so busy the last couple of weeks. Luckily I worked through and have corrected the issues so it should not long be a problem and I can post regularly. So with that out of the way onto the news!
Firstly I would like to inform you all that I have expanded my wardrobe. I recently went to Gabriel Brothers and purchased two very lovely shirts and a nice pair of white jeans. It only cost me $25 plus tax. I must say I love Gabriel Brothers. But something great happened during my shopping trip, I got a couple of outfits but at the time I did not know my appropriate sizes. So I just grabbed various items of differing sizes and was going to try them on. Boy I was so nervous about this, luckily a close friend tagged along and gave me the support and encouragement I needed to go to the dressing rooms. So I told the associate how many items I had and she led me to the hallway to the dressing rooms. Yet to my great surprise she led me to the women's dressing rooms. Needless to say I went and tried on my outfits with the biggest smile. I was recognized without make up, without being en femme, with just a normal t-shirt and blue jeans as a woman. It was the highlight of that entire day, honestly for the month. It felt good to be recognized by someone unaware as my true gender, one of the best feelings I have ever had to be truthful. The hormones must be truly working.
Speaking of hormones, I have been on my HRT plan now for almost a month. I must say that I am noticing quite a few changes. My skin is so much smoother and my complexion is more effeminate. My pores are getting less noticeable and body fat is rearranging to give me a more female physique. Some breast development but not really, it could just be my imagination. Most on HRT do not experience any development until the second or third month at the earliest. My body hair, eww I know, is actually thinning out and growing very slowly now. Well all except my facial hair, sadly, is not very affected which I knew. But it has slowed in growth and kind of thinned out but not really. Eventually I will need to get laser hair removal, I found a spa in Charleston that will do a full face session for only $125. A maximum of 7 sessions, one session a month, is recommended but I am not very hairy so probably only 4-5 sessions will be necessary. Unfortunately I do not have the money yet, so I am investing in many razors for now. I do have some spare money seeing how I am not eating as much.
Which reminds me, thanks to my diet and exercise plan I am down to 286 lbs. in little over a month. I have lost a total of 44 lbs. and still shedding it off. I already have more energy and feel really better all around. I also had to buy new clothes a size smaller then what I used to wear and even those are now to big on me so I have to wear a belt all the time. And I have to get a new belt because the one I am currently using I need to cut holes in just to be able to tighten it more. All in all, I am happy with the weight I lost and look forward to hitting my goal of around 150-160 lbs.
Lastly I would like to inform you all that soon I will actually be posting a video message and will probably continue to do so in a vlog, video blog, on Youtube. I will continue to post on here as well and I will also be sure to post my vlogs here too. I just feel that certain things can only be conveyed through spoken words rather than text on a page. So be sure to check it out when I get it up and running, hopefully within the week.
Till then,
~Gwen
P.S. I received my first donation on my GoFundMe page today, so that was a pleasant surprise. Every little bit helps, hopefully I will receive more donations soon.
Firstly I would like to inform you all that I have expanded my wardrobe. I recently went to Gabriel Brothers and purchased two very lovely shirts and a nice pair of white jeans. It only cost me $25 plus tax. I must say I love Gabriel Brothers. But something great happened during my shopping trip, I got a couple of outfits but at the time I did not know my appropriate sizes. So I just grabbed various items of differing sizes and was going to try them on. Boy I was so nervous about this, luckily a close friend tagged along and gave me the support and encouragement I needed to go to the dressing rooms. So I told the associate how many items I had and she led me to the hallway to the dressing rooms. Yet to my great surprise she led me to the women's dressing rooms. Needless to say I went and tried on my outfits with the biggest smile. I was recognized without make up, without being en femme, with just a normal t-shirt and blue jeans as a woman. It was the highlight of that entire day, honestly for the month. It felt good to be recognized by someone unaware as my true gender, one of the best feelings I have ever had to be truthful. The hormones must be truly working.
Speaking of hormones, I have been on my HRT plan now for almost a month. I must say that I am noticing quite a few changes. My skin is so much smoother and my complexion is more effeminate. My pores are getting less noticeable and body fat is rearranging to give me a more female physique. Some breast development but not really, it could just be my imagination. Most on HRT do not experience any development until the second or third month at the earliest. My body hair, eww I know, is actually thinning out and growing very slowly now. Well all except my facial hair, sadly, is not very affected which I knew. But it has slowed in growth and kind of thinned out but not really. Eventually I will need to get laser hair removal, I found a spa in Charleston that will do a full face session for only $125. A maximum of 7 sessions, one session a month, is recommended but I am not very hairy so probably only 4-5 sessions will be necessary. Unfortunately I do not have the money yet, so I am investing in many razors for now. I do have some spare money seeing how I am not eating as much.
Which reminds me, thanks to my diet and exercise plan I am down to 286 lbs. in little over a month. I have lost a total of 44 lbs. and still shedding it off. I already have more energy and feel really better all around. I also had to buy new clothes a size smaller then what I used to wear and even those are now to big on me so I have to wear a belt all the time. And I have to get a new belt because the one I am currently using I need to cut holes in just to be able to tighten it more. All in all, I am happy with the weight I lost and look forward to hitting my goal of around 150-160 lbs.
Lastly I would like to inform you all that soon I will actually be posting a video message and will probably continue to do so in a vlog, video blog, on Youtube. I will continue to post on here as well and I will also be sure to post my vlogs here too. I just feel that certain things can only be conveyed through spoken words rather than text on a page. So be sure to check it out when I get it up and running, hopefully within the week.
Till then,
~Gwen
P.S. I received my first donation on my GoFundMe page today, so that was a pleasant surprise. Every little bit helps, hopefully I will receive more donations soon.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Of Hormones and Women
Greetings everyone! I hope you are doing well. I want to apologize I promised that I would post yesterday but unfortunately I was not able to see my doctor that day. However I saw him today and let me tell you, I have some great news.
I woke up at 8 in the morning on pins and needles not knowing if I would begin HRT today or if I would have to wait for blood results and red tape. After I took my adipex and finished all the boring morning routine stuff. I went to my car and got on my way at promptly 9 o'clock. It was the longest car ride I have ever had, not because of distance but because of all the thoughts racing through my head. I arrived at his office at exactly 10:30.
It was a very small office run by three nurses and my doctor. Tiny waiting room, old tv, old magazines; the classic doctors office. I signed my name and began filling out the paperwork when the nurse pulled me aside and asked what I was being seen for today. I thought oh no what happens if I tell her and they say they will not see me. But I forced all that down and told her that I was there for Hormone Replacement Therapy and to my surprise she was the nurse that I had spoken to on the phone. She was really supportive and told me that she had checked and found my insurance will not cover my doctors visits do to the medical code being transgender. After a few laughs I sat back down and started finishing up the paperwork. That was when another nurse had arrived and pulled me into her office.
She was an older lady and very kind. She asked me the usual questions: When did realize you were transgender? Are you out yet? What made you want to start hormones? Do you have anyone this will directly affect: wife or husband, children, etc. After all that was said and done I was kind of getting the feeling I was being interrogated. Evidently she realized I was feeling that way and said to not worry. She and my doctor had been treating transgender patients for 40 years! I was shocked and amazed. We got to talking about all sorts of things from religion to politics. It really made me seem at ease and welcomed. We finally got to her paperwork and the first thing she asked was what was my name so I gave my birth name and my new name, Gwen. She asked which I preferred and I said Gwen and she put that down and through out the rest of my appointment refereed to me as Gwen and with proper pronouns. Then the doctor arrived.
He was a very nice older gentleman, he told me he has had several male-to-female patients over the years and asked me a couple of questions. He was really friendly to lots of jokes, we had to stop several times to laugh, even though I only saw him for about 10 minutes about 6 of that was laughing. Before he left he told the nurse to go ahead and contact the pharmacy and set up my prescriptions for Estradiol (Estrogen) and Spironolactone (Anti-Androgen). At this point I was ecstatic I was actually getting the hormones, I didn't even realize that the doctor had left until his nurse had started talking to me again.
She went over the medicines protocols with me, when to take them and so on. She also informed me that they will take blood work on my next visit and that the visit will cost $100 for today and future visits will only cost $50. The last thing she told me was that once I go full time to not worry at all, the staff is very supportive and the other patients are ok with it too. After I paid the nurse at the front desk I quickly rushed over to the pharmacy where I found out my insurance will not pay for my Estradiol (which I already knew) but would pay for my "Spiro" and it only cost me $13. So I finally started my hormone replacement therapy and are on the path for full reassignment.
Needless to say, I am quite excited that not only did I find a doctor with years of experience with an awesome nursing staff but also a pharmacy that is just as welcoming. I cannot wait to see them all again for my next appointment. I go to see them again in 4-6 weeks. So I am planning on going back around June 8th. I am so glad to finally be on the path to being who I truly am, but now I find that my wardrobe is kind of lonely with only one dress, guess it is time to start expanding but that is for another time. I will be sure to post at least once a week about how my HRT is going and to keep you all updated about how the rest of the transition is going. So be sure to check back soon.
Till then,
~Gwen
I woke up at 8 in the morning on pins and needles not knowing if I would begin HRT today or if I would have to wait for blood results and red tape. After I took my adipex and finished all the boring morning routine stuff. I went to my car and got on my way at promptly 9 o'clock. It was the longest car ride I have ever had, not because of distance but because of all the thoughts racing through my head. I arrived at his office at exactly 10:30.
It was a very small office run by three nurses and my doctor. Tiny waiting room, old tv, old magazines; the classic doctors office. I signed my name and began filling out the paperwork when the nurse pulled me aside and asked what I was being seen for today. I thought oh no what happens if I tell her and they say they will not see me. But I forced all that down and told her that I was there for Hormone Replacement Therapy and to my surprise she was the nurse that I had spoken to on the phone. She was really supportive and told me that she had checked and found my insurance will not cover my doctors visits do to the medical code being transgender. After a few laughs I sat back down and started finishing up the paperwork. That was when another nurse had arrived and pulled me into her office.
She was an older lady and very kind. She asked me the usual questions: When did realize you were transgender? Are you out yet? What made you want to start hormones? Do you have anyone this will directly affect: wife or husband, children, etc. After all that was said and done I was kind of getting the feeling I was being interrogated. Evidently she realized I was feeling that way and said to not worry. She and my doctor had been treating transgender patients for 40 years! I was shocked and amazed. We got to talking about all sorts of things from religion to politics. It really made me seem at ease and welcomed. We finally got to her paperwork and the first thing she asked was what was my name so I gave my birth name and my new name, Gwen. She asked which I preferred and I said Gwen and she put that down and through out the rest of my appointment refereed to me as Gwen and with proper pronouns. Then the doctor arrived.
He was a very nice older gentleman, he told me he has had several male-to-female patients over the years and asked me a couple of questions. He was really friendly to lots of jokes, we had to stop several times to laugh, even though I only saw him for about 10 minutes about 6 of that was laughing. Before he left he told the nurse to go ahead and contact the pharmacy and set up my prescriptions for Estradiol (Estrogen) and Spironolactone (Anti-Androgen). At this point I was ecstatic I was actually getting the hormones, I didn't even realize that the doctor had left until his nurse had started talking to me again.
She went over the medicines protocols with me, when to take them and so on. She also informed me that they will take blood work on my next visit and that the visit will cost $100 for today and future visits will only cost $50. The last thing she told me was that once I go full time to not worry at all, the staff is very supportive and the other patients are ok with it too. After I paid the nurse at the front desk I quickly rushed over to the pharmacy where I found out my insurance will not pay for my Estradiol (which I already knew) but would pay for my "Spiro" and it only cost me $13. So I finally started my hormone replacement therapy and are on the path for full reassignment.
Needless to say, I am quite excited that not only did I find a doctor with years of experience with an awesome nursing staff but also a pharmacy that is just as welcoming. I cannot wait to see them all again for my next appointment. I go to see them again in 4-6 weeks. So I am planning on going back around June 8th. I am so glad to finally be on the path to being who I truly am, but now I find that my wardrobe is kind of lonely with only one dress, guess it is time to start expanding but that is for another time. I will be sure to post at least once a week about how my HRT is going and to keep you all updated about how the rest of the transition is going. So be sure to check back soon.
Till then,
~Gwen
Friday, May 8, 2015
Femme Fatale
Salutations everyone! I hope you are all doing well. I have quite a bit of news for you all. And as promised I will be presenting some en femme pictures for you too.
First off let me just say that I am so glad to have such support from my friends and family. I have not had a single negative experience so far, knock on wood. In actuality I was jumping at shadows for the first two weeks waiting for the negative reactions. Silly right? Anyways on to the news!
I have been in contact with a well known transgender supporter in Charleston and she actually did quite a bit of research into doctors in the area on my behalf. Yesterday she called me back with info on three doctors. Two of the three do not take personal pay or my insurance. However the third not only takes both but is only an hour away in Milton,WV. I was so excited to the point of being on cloud nine. YAY!
Anyways, after finding this out I called his office and confirmed all this information. The only thing that I was not told was that if by some chance the insurance will not pay it will be $100 to be seen, which is significantly less then the doctor in Morgantown. I also found out I do not need a letter or a referral, I just show up and they will see me. So if all goes well, fingers crossed, I will be seeing him on Monday the 11th.
Now as promised and without further ado I present to you Gwen, en femme.
First off let me just say that I am so glad to have such support from my friends and family. I have not had a single negative experience so far, knock on wood. In actuality I was jumping at shadows for the first two weeks waiting for the negative reactions. Silly right? Anyways on to the news!
I have been in contact with a well known transgender supporter in Charleston and she actually did quite a bit of research into doctors in the area on my behalf. Yesterday she called me back with info on three doctors. Two of the three do not take personal pay or my insurance. However the third not only takes both but is only an hour away in Milton,WV. I was so excited to the point of being on cloud nine. YAY!
Anyways, after finding this out I called his office and confirmed all this information. The only thing that I was not told was that if by some chance the insurance will not pay it will be $100 to be seen, which is significantly less then the doctor in Morgantown. I also found out I do not need a letter or a referral, I just show up and they will see me. So if all goes well, fingers crossed, I will be seeing him on Monday the 11th.
Now as promised and without further ado I present to you Gwen, en femme.
I personally like this one, though it looks like I have short hair. Should I get it done that way?
This one is ok but I think my smile is dorky.
This one is not to bad, hopefully the HRT will fix some issues I see.
Well there you go, Gwen in all her beauty. I do apologize that they are not full pictures and just face shots, but I am not that confident yet. Combined with my weight and the fact that I still kind of hate my upper body (missing two things) I am kind of lacking confidence. Both of which are being rectified.
My next post will be Monday after I get back from my doctor's office. I hope that I will get my hormones then but there is probably a chance that will not happen do to having to have blood tests done to see my normal hormone levels. Though I will see if he can work in conjunction with my primary care here so I can get my blood tests and medicine from her but he can get the results and tell her if she needs to change my dosage or what have you. Either way Monday will definitely be an interesting day so come and check out my next post.
Till then,
~Gwen
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Weight Loss, Doctors, and Wardrobes. Oh My!
Hi everyone, I hope you are all doing well. Well for those of you that do not know I have an appointment with Doctor Toffle located in Morgantown to see about beginning my Hormone Replacement Therapy. It is on May 27th at 10 in the morning, I am going to be so tired. I am still saving up every penny I can. It is going to be $283 just to be seen, not counting the cost of the blood tests. Hopefully I will know if I will have enough saved up on the 20th. So here is hoping.
As for my weight loss, recently I had a slight increase to 311 lbs. but I am back down to 308 lb, I only have 158 lbs left to lose. I am getting stricter with my diet and I am doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, hopefully the pounds just melt off.
On a side note I bought my first dress. Yay! It is a pretty flame coral color and it actually did not cost all that much surprisingly. It is the first step in changing out my wardrobe. Though if I keep up my weight loss track I will be switching out my wardrobe several times over the year. :P
Here is the dress for those that are curious. I love the color. ^_^
Be sure to check back, I will be posting a full femme post soon, need to show off the dress and my makeup skills. Though I need to build up the confidence to post the pictures, I promise it will be posted within the week.
Till then,
~Gwen
As for my weight loss, recently I had a slight increase to 311 lbs. but I am back down to 308 lb, I only have 158 lbs left to lose. I am getting stricter with my diet and I am doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, hopefully the pounds just melt off.
On a side note I bought my first dress. Yay! It is a pretty flame coral color and it actually did not cost all that much surprisingly. It is the first step in changing out my wardrobe. Though if I keep up my weight loss track I will be switching out my wardrobe several times over the year. :P
Be sure to check back, I will be posting a full femme post soon, need to show off the dress and my makeup skills. Though I need to build up the confidence to post the pictures, I promise it will be posted within the week.
Till then,
~Gwen
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Introducing Gwendolyn
Greetings and salutations. My name is Gwendolyn, Gwen for short, I am a 24 year old male-to-female transsexual. I started this blog to document my transition and to assist my fellow transgender individuals in the community by providing a history of a transition and to raise awareness of the transgender community.
To tell you a little about myself, I grew up in rural West Virginia and have lived here most of my life. As far as I am aware my parents and family never suspected that I was transgender, even though I remember dressing in my sisters outfits and putting on make up. So for the largest portion of my life I lived as a male and never felt quite normal. I participated in sports and was fairly intelligent when it came to school mostly As and Bs. It was not until around middle school (between ages 10-12) that I started having noticeable dysphoria, I can say this now but at the time I was not aware of what it was. I became very depressed and dropped out of sports. I started to gain weight and became more anti-social, I could not deal with the feeling that I just was not right. I started to retreat inside my mind and in fantasy books and games, anything to just escape reality and the pain. In 6th grade I contemplated and even planned to kill myself because of these feelings until I met a close friend to who to this day still supports me and is the best friend one could ever ask for. Thanks to him I did not go through with my plan to kill myself, a plan that only he knew until now.
I continued on in life still depressed and not feeling as if my body was truly mine though now I had a friend. I continued to gain weight through high school do to my dysphoria as well. I gained more friends in between my middle and high school life. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was just gay and started to live as such. It made me happier to not have to hide a feeling of attraction to the point of being in relationships to hide my feeling towards males. Though even though I was happier the feeling of not being in my body never left and it still kept growing.
When I went to college I discovered something new that I had never heard of coming from rural West Virginia, that being the term transgender. Ever since finding out about transgender individuals, the question of whether I was truly female in a male body had plagued me. For three years I fought with my own identity with who I was and the dysphoria was growing harder and harder to ignore. I lost all interest in everything that I loved to do before even my escapes from reality like reading and writing. I started to push away my friends because they reminded me of the lies I had to tell myself.
After fighting for so long, I realized I could not be happy until I finally admitted it. To stop hiding who I truly was. I told my friend and he supported me. After telling him and accepting who I was, I have been happier ever since. Shortly after I told my family and friends who have all supported me.
And finally to wrap up such a long post, I am starting to lose my weight thanks to a strict diet and exercise plan. As for the the transition process I have an appointment with a doctor near me to begin my HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) with my final goal being SRS Surgery (Sex Reassignment Surgery). I look forward to keeping you all up to date with my progress and of all the new adventures before me.
~Gwen
To tell you a little about myself, I grew up in rural West Virginia and have lived here most of my life. As far as I am aware my parents and family never suspected that I was transgender, even though I remember dressing in my sisters outfits and putting on make up. So for the largest portion of my life I lived as a male and never felt quite normal. I participated in sports and was fairly intelligent when it came to school mostly As and Bs. It was not until around middle school (between ages 10-12) that I started having noticeable dysphoria, I can say this now but at the time I was not aware of what it was. I became very depressed and dropped out of sports. I started to gain weight and became more anti-social, I could not deal with the feeling that I just was not right. I started to retreat inside my mind and in fantasy books and games, anything to just escape reality and the pain. In 6th grade I contemplated and even planned to kill myself because of these feelings until I met a close friend to who to this day still supports me and is the best friend one could ever ask for. Thanks to him I did not go through with my plan to kill myself, a plan that only he knew until now.
I continued on in life still depressed and not feeling as if my body was truly mine though now I had a friend. I continued to gain weight through high school do to my dysphoria as well. I gained more friends in between my middle and high school life. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was just gay and started to live as such. It made me happier to not have to hide a feeling of attraction to the point of being in relationships to hide my feeling towards males. Though even though I was happier the feeling of not being in my body never left and it still kept growing.
When I went to college I discovered something new that I had never heard of coming from rural West Virginia, that being the term transgender. Ever since finding out about transgender individuals, the question of whether I was truly female in a male body had plagued me. For three years I fought with my own identity with who I was and the dysphoria was growing harder and harder to ignore. I lost all interest in everything that I loved to do before even my escapes from reality like reading and writing. I started to push away my friends because they reminded me of the lies I had to tell myself.
After fighting for so long, I realized I could not be happy until I finally admitted it. To stop hiding who I truly was. I told my friend and he supported me. After telling him and accepting who I was, I have been happier ever since. Shortly after I told my family and friends who have all supported me.
And finally to wrap up such a long post, I am starting to lose my weight thanks to a strict diet and exercise plan. As for the the transition process I have an appointment with a doctor near me to begin my HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) with my final goal being SRS Surgery (Sex Reassignment Surgery). I look forward to keeping you all up to date with my progress and of all the new adventures before me.
~Gwen
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